


Degausser

by king of carrot flowers (localmanruinseverything)



Category: Brand New, My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-08
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-18 15:47:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1434064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/localmanruinseverything/pseuds/king%20of%20carrot%20flowers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"In the summer, the steel expands and then shrinks with the cold, rust biting at it every time it rains. The feeble foundation just cracks slowly, over time, first falling in pieces, then going down all together. Before you know it, the red paint is peeling, and people are jumping into the icy river. Because its not just the bridge thats on the verge of collapse; the city is just a collection of structures, after all." </p><p>Warnings: Abusive relationships, Mature Language and general angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Degausser

“Oh I get it, its...” A brash, barking laugh, “Funny how it still hurts, huh?”

He squeezes his eyes together, sympathy. He gets it. Sympathy. 

Maybe.

“You’re pathetic. Get the fuck over him.” 

Okay, so he jumped the gun on sympathy. Doesn’t mean Frank’s gotta be an asshole about it though, really. Actually, he always is. He doesn’t know why he expected anything else out of him. 

His throat is sore but, “Not like you’re helping.” 

“Its not my job to help, Jess.” 

Frank spits out the pet name like its dirt that got into his mouth after a particularly hard fall face-first into the ground. Which is a pretty sound metaphor for their relationship, Jesse thinks. 

“It, kind of, is. You’re doing this, like- to fucking help me, you do know that? That kind of, maybe that is a tiny little part of the whole thing.” That was a lot of words. The sarcasm boils in his stomach like hot oil, not setting anything alight. Just a heavy, sickly weight burning through his stomach, “But probably not right? I mean, why else would I-” 

“Shut the fuck up,”

The purest silence is that of a man interrupted. He guesses.

“Look, you’re my friend or whatever the hell, and you’ve been that for more than two years now, you of all people should know I gave a fuck for about the first 8 months. Get over it. I’m not you’re emotional support anymore-”

Why.

“-but its just so easy to get a quick good fuck out of you, how could anyone resist?” 

“Getting off on playing my vulnerabilities now are we, Iero?” Jesse spits. He figures this should hurt after all this time but.

Frank rolls his eyes, “Getting off on me calling you a fucking slut and then listening to you ruin the afterglow with your pathetic-ass whining about your ‘problems’ - now are we, Lacey?” 

A harsh breath of air through his nostrils, agitated, poised. “You’re the one who keeps coming right the fuck back.”

Relentlessly, “Yeah, because you’d be a useless mess without it. Trust me, if I didn’t pity you so much, I’d fuck your brother. More willing, better cocksucker, less baggage, better body. Its a whole list,” 

Like always. 

“Just look, if I didn’t fucking care as much as I did, you’d be out laying in a gutter somewhere. I just don’t need your stupid fucking band suing us. Me.”

He’s drowning in ankle deep saltwater, and every ‘fight’- or whatever this is, is like this, like tides. Ever-present, ever-coming and ever-going and never quite winning either way. 

Honestly, Jesse doesn’t want to cry. He never does anymore, but his body feels heavy and knotted, like the broken sound cables they used to keep in their van. An empty, useless weight, strewn about just to knot on peoples feet and trip them up. Like a badly built suspension bridge, he’s holding out until one last accidental slip up breaks it all down. Frank always does this, Jesse always feels like this. But there isn’t anyone else, there isn’t anyon-

“This is all your fucking fault, you do know that. If you had the slightest bit of self respect you could have made her stay, you wouldn’t let me treat you like complete shit. But you want it, you want the whole goddamn thing.”

In the summer, the steel expands and then shrinks with the cold, rust biting at it every time it rains. The feeble foundation just cracks slowly, over time, first falling in pieces, then going down all together. Before you know it, the red paint is peeling, and people are jumping into the icy river. Because its not just the bridge thats on the verge of collapse; the city is just a collection of structures, after all. 

His head hurts.

“Frank what the hell got into you this morning.” 

“You had a chance to have a family.” 

Friend, comfort, trust, love, secrets, understanding-

“If I were you Jesse, I’d kill myself, actually. You don’t deserve anybody, you might as well get business class seat to hell since it’s free and you’re going down there anywhere. You’ll probably meet your precious ‘John’ there too. You’ll both have fun. You fit each other from the start, y’know. Ruining everything around you and then yourself when theres nothing else left.”

Jesse bites his lip and looks up at the shitty ceiling. This is probably worth the apology fuck, probably.

Maybe.


End file.
